Well, it's been two weeks since i wrote anything, i have been so busy, sorting out my feelings and my life. University just began today, it was nice to see thoese familiar faces again, the weather..was dreary, made me feel worse than i already was. Now i just can't go to bed, my mind is disturbed by thoughts of the unknown future, i have no idea what awaits me tomorrow, yet there is this strange feeling of joy or extreme sadness i do not know.

It's so difficult to hold a smile on your face, while your insides are messed up. Yet we all have to sometimes without any choice of our own. Why do we so often do things for people? Some are shrewd enough to ask for favours in return while some of us are contend with the fact that we helped someone. What am i going on about? What am i exactly trying to tell you? Nothing in particular really, it's how messy my inside is. No thought follows a co-herent pattern, no idea makes much sense to me let alone the people around me.

Is it wrong to be attracted to someone? and is it a wise thing to tell this person how you feel, when you clearly know both of you should not be getting into anything so deep, at the end of the day, both of you are going to be burnt in this heat of passion. What does one do than in such a situation? I don't know, and i will have to figure out before this question gnaws at my brain and kills me slowly, and this death is more painful than being hit by a car.

Damn, this is really depressing now, i better stop getting all sobby now. I guess it's time to hit the sack, and dream, dreams you never dreamt before. It is good to build castles in the sky, but start working on the foundation now. :)

Coffee