Remember the question i asked GOD, the other night, well he hasn't really replied but he has shown me the path, now it's up to me to take it. Why have i again taken so long to come back to this journal, well seriously search me. I have been busy doing nothing really and as my father very aptly puts it I have begun to look like a TYPICAL INDIAN HOUSEWIFE, who does nothing all day but watches Tv, eats, gossips ( this i do not do too much of) and sleeps. Well i am on a holiday, so give me a break dad! :)

Well seriously these past weeks i have realised life is not about simply getting a paper qualification, finding an excellent well paying job, getting married, having kids, building a home. There is more to life than these. Life is about building bonds, strengthening exisisting relationships, keeping the family together. Truthfully i have been trying to do all these, but i have failed. Failed badly,but this failure is not going to keep me down. These failure has only given me a new lease of life. My once AIMLESS march towards life, has found new reason, new passion and bountiful energy. I am going to stand up again, and make my dreams and that of my late grandfather's come alive. If i fail it will be my fault and my fault alone, because i simply was not passionate enough about it. I will be my own obstacle, my own reason for failing. Life is a bed of roses, but who said there were no thorns along the way? The thorns will prick me, and wound me, but the roses shall be my medication, and my guiding light.

How many of us have failed, sat down and started pointing fingers at the world but ourselves? If you are sitting behind your computer screen and shaking your head and going "not me", well than there can only be 2 reasons to it; A) You're a sucessful person in life or B) you're simply LYING TO YOURSELF. I know i personally have failed one time too many and blamed the rest of the world, never have i looked within and found reasons to blame myself.

Why do we blame others? Why do we shriek at the mere mention of being Responsible, self responsiblity in this case? Sometimes we are too arrogant to admit we are wrong, sometimes too stubborn to listen to someone else and sometimes simply too lazy to act on the answers we know that will change or make things better!From my past mistakes, i have learnt, that if i stopped looking for outside factors for the cause of my failure, i find sucess faster. We are our own obstacles. We pay thousands of dollars to listen to self help "gurus", practice the now in thing "meditation", but how much of this will help, if we refuse self responsibility? The only key to sucess is Self responsibility, which includes LOVE, unconditional LOVE!

Well ponder on this thought, maybe i am wrong, maybe i am not, i am free to opinions, maybe you could teach me a thing or two, in the meantime i am off to learn from a book i am currently reading " Tuesday's with Morris". It is one hell of a book, you'll enjoy every bit of it, if you can get hold of it my lovely friends read it, it will bring a tear to your eye it will pull at your heart strings and make you think a little.

Till the next time, sip on champagne, jive to the rhythm of life and party on.

Coffee