Disconnected...Pursuit of Connection.

Total emptiness. Life you tell me, i ask you what life is this when you're disconnected from everyone?



Yes, there are a few people in this world i love and care for or who love and care for me, but there is no real intimacy with anyone. This has been a pattern with me for as long as i can remember, and i begin to think and wonder if life would be quite possible without this pattern, that serves to grind me to the ground each waking sleeping moment.



Life just sucks, i am so disconnected from everyone and anyone. I am just so stupid, that i get taken for granted all the time, or maybe simply to gullible to believe that people actually love me. Some men want to sleep with me, but there is no love, no connection. What is the point i ask you? I am not looking for a fuck, i am looking for intimacy. And mind you, my dear readers a fuck and intimacy are two very different things. You can have intimacy without the physical contact but there is no fuck without the physical contact.



My thoughts are just as disconnected as i am, i am emotionally, physically, psychologically fucked.



Life just sucks.



Goodbye.



Don't sip on the wine no more, don't smell the coffee, cause life just Sucks.